Frustration!!!

S. Anthony Iannarino wrote a brilliant blog post titled “Forty-Five at Forty-Five.  It is a list of forty-five things he has learned in his forty-five years of life. #17 is especially insightful and bears repeating.  

“If you are frustrated with someone else, it isn’t his or her behavior that is frustrating you. It’s your lack of resourcefulness in dealing with their behavior or it’s that you are investing too much meaning in their behavior. “

What a challenging statement that is! So often when I feel frustration with someone else I put the blame on them. After all, if they would do what I wanted I wouldn’t be aggravated.

But what if I apply my God-given resourcefulness to the situation? Can I find a solution that will help me eliminate frustration? Is there a better way to communicate with coworkers? Can I reduce my frustration in my financial life by changing the way I spend my money? Could I deal with a serious illness more effectively by changing my attitude? Should I pursue a different treatment?

This statement by Mr. Iannarino has changed my approach to life. There is so much HOPE in recognizing that I don’t have to live with things as they are. I can change my approach, I can search for options, and I can change my attitude.

Does this statement resonate with you? How do you deal with frustration?

 Photo Credit http://www.flickr.com/photos/markkelley/253278143/

Title: Frustration

Christmas Bully

Bullying has become a big topic lately. FLOTUS (Secret Service lingo for First Lady of the United States) has made this a part of her agenda. As a result, we’ve begun to hear a lot about bullying. Of course, bullying is bad and no one wants to be accused of it. You hear “Racist” used by politicians to label people with whom they disagree in an effort to silence them. “Bully” will soon be an added weapon. Don’t believe me? Consider this:

Radio.foxnews.com reported this week that, according to some parents in Missouri, “Christmas songs are a form of bullying.” When you get your blood pressure back down and your jaw off the floor, I will give you my analysis of the situation.

Bullying has been around as long as people have been on the earth. We traditionally think of bullies as children being mean to other children. When adults mistreat other adults we generally call it intimidation, harassment, or assault. If an adult mistreats a child we refer to it as abuse.

You may be wondering how singing a Christmas song fits into that definition. I’ll let you read the article for yourself if you’re interested. Here’s the link:  http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/parents-say-christmas-carols-are-form-of-bullying.html .

Here’s what I think. Demanding that other people stop what they are doing because you are offended can become a form of bullying. As I see it, the few using being offended to force the majority to change their behavior is bullying.  Or at least it could be. Someone claims to be offended, and maybe they are, then demands that everyone else stop doing whatever it is that offends them. I say “Deal with it.” Any number of things can offend me. In fact, I may be offended that you are offended. Now we have reached an impasse, haven't we?

My point is this. As a society we have begun to use the “I’m offended” ploy to force others to do what we want them to do. “You’re a bully” is just another wrinkle in the ”I’m offended” playbook. Sounds like bullying to me. What do you think? 

Meet TED

 

I would like to introduce you to my new friend, Ted. Ted is not a person, but an idea, a website, an event. The tagline just under the title header on the homepage of ted.com says “Riveting talks by remarkable people. Free to the world.”  

Here you will find videos of speeches made by people from all walks of life, from all over the world.  This includes doctors, prisoners, orphans, business people, politicians, and researchers. These speeches cover a vast variety of topics from a first-hand description of what it feels like to experience a stroke, to jihad, art, engineering, medicine, music and theatre. And that’s just what’s on the first page!

Just yesterday I listened to a speech titled “How to solve traffic jams”. Is he serious? Maybe he’s speaking tongue-in-check….. Check out Jonas Eliasson’s speech for yourself to discover which.   

If you hear something that you want to discuss further you can start an online conversation, or join one in progress, and give your thoughts on the topic.  Other people can respond to what you write and share their ideas. This allows you to see different sides of the topic and learn even more. It might even change your opinion on a particular topic.

My friend Ted is fascinating. Just be careful he doesn’t steal you away from your other friends, Twitter, Facebook, and Youtube……. or the living breathing people around you…..        

Photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/shaundon/5757342705/">shaundon</a> / <a href="http://foter.com/Love/">Foter</a> / <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">CC BY-NC-SA</a>                                      

Blog You!

Blogs are wonderful. Most of us use them without realizing it. If you are on Facebook or Twitter you are using a blog. Granted, Facebook and Twitter are really micro blogs. But they are blogs none the less.  Much of what is posted on Twitter is simply a link to a regular blog.  Facebook is a great micro blogging platform for keeping up with friends and sharing your life with lots of people at once. It is so popular because it has made it easy for non-techies to upload pictures and give their thoughts in short snippets. Google + is another of the micro blogging platforms available. Google + is relatively new and under-utilized because Facebook got there first and people are slow to change. I believe that Google + has some really useful features that will make it more popular as time goes by.  

While micro blogs are great, you are missing some great information if you are not reading some full size blogs.  Blogs are used by businesses to inform their customers and to attract new ones. Individuals use blogs as a sort of public or semi-private journal.  Many individuals use blogging as a sort of self- publisher. They have something to share with the world and blogging is a great way to reach, potentially, almost everyone in the world with their message.

To whet your appetite, click on the links I’ve listed here to get started exploring the world of blogs.

http://thesalesblog.com/

http://4-guys.blogspot.com/ The official title of this one is Four Guys and a Lady. This is probably my favorite blog.

Do you have any blog recommendations for me? I’d love to hear what your favorites are.

Photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/adesigna/3923138328/">adesigna</a> / <a href="http://foter.com">Foter</a> / <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">CC BY-NC-SA</a>